Friday, March 17, 2006

illiterate

About a month and a half ago I was totally ecstatic that I wouldn't have to pay for phone calls anymore. As part of their ADSL package, Neuf Telecom offered a nine-euro-a-month flatrate for phone calls to the European Union, the US, and a bunch of other countries that might or might not exist. Anyone I'd ever think of calling suddenly lived in my home zone. I've given my phone a good workout since then.

Today I got the first bill since changing my service, and if my heart were any weaker, I'd have suffered cardiac arrest. Quite correctly, the monthly charge has increased, but that alone couldn't explain the 275 euro total. I took me a few minutes to go through all the sheets itemizing outgoing calls that were part of the bill before figuring out that I had spent 190 euros on international calls. It seemed that Neuf had not modified my account accordingly. Apoplectic rage had me scream at my modem and finally rip the bill into shreds the size of nanoparticles, but that didn't make the charges go away. I could still see them on my online account summary.

Extraordinary measures needed to be taken. I picked up my phone, this traitor, this soulless machine that's trying to hurtle me into deep poverty, into impecunious misery, and called customer service. During a prolonged tug of war of confused misunderstanding and repeating of numbers and internet addresses, the representative explained to me patiently that I just didn't sign up correctly. I needed to banish France Telecom from my line and let Neuf take over completely, a process called "dégroupage total". This would actually bring my monthly charges back down by seven euros but, more importanly, let me finally garner the full power of ADSL.

That I am an illiterate fool who doesn't read instructions is nothing new, and I probably got justly punished for leaving the phone on while playing scrabble online for hours. But I can't take the full weight of the blame. I was able to sign up for the "unlimited calls" offer without being reminded that, as I did it, the offer would only extend to France. Neuf Telecom, those sneaky bastards, screwed me.

All complaining won't change a thing. I'll have to wait for the dégroupage to be effected. How lucky I'm going on vacation tomorrow. Delicious baklava and Turkish coffee will mellow my mood for the next week. Stay tuned.

1 comment:

Andreas Förster said...

Don't bother with a landline with France Telecom. Pick an apartment in a zone that is covered with dégroupage total (should be anywhere downtown Grenoble) and sign up for Neuf Telecom ADSL (15 euros per month). Make sure to select Téléphone illimité (additional 9 euros per month), which will allow you to call India for free. I think Neuf is the only company that has India in their list of countries (besides EU and USA).