smoke signals

When I lived in Utah I really enjoyed the generally smoke-free restaurants, bars and clubs, and in those six years I developed into a militant smoke hater. Consequently, life was tough in France, where people smoked in cafes and bars (though not in restaurants). The absolute worst was Germany where people smoked left and right and one used to come home after a night out smelling like a burning landfill.

About a month before I moved to London, the UK decided to go smoke-free indoors, as if to welcome me warmly. I appreciated that gesture. Now, barely a year later, Germany and France have largely followed suit. I'm puzzled over why businesses have to be forced to go smoke-free. As my dad pointed out when he visited, bars can sell twice as much beer if they have non-smokers at the tables and smokers outside by the door.

When the ban of alcohol on the tube went into effect last night, I was reminded of a conversation I had with my sister a while back. She doesn't smoke, and she doesn't drink beer, but she likes to watch football in the stadium and gets aggravated every time drunks act obnoxious, piss in the bushes or puke on the pavement. She asks why we don't ban beer along with the cigarettes.

It's a good question, and we who like beer might get freaked out a little thinking about it. Because really, what's next in the nearly universal drive to expel vice from our lives and makes us all virtuous (and boring average). Fat, sugar and tobacco are already banned or vilified. Alcohol sounds like the next logical target to me.

If you take football games, violence is mediated by the anti-inhibitory properties of alcohol. If you take street parties, rowdy crowds are disinhibited for similar reasons. The ugly scenes one sees frequently outside pubs find their origin in alcohol as well. What's a smoker's innocent smoke against the evils of alcohol?

As much as I think this line of thought is idiotic, I have a hard time arguing against it convincingly. Of course, cigarettes kill, every single one a little more, whereas a little glass of red wine might have a salutary effect. Of course, you can stay away from drinks, but the smoke will get you. And of course it's not the consumption of alcohol that's causes trouble but drinking in excess. How do you keep one and prevent the other?

I don't have a solution, but I'm afraid that someone with no solution either but a clear idea of how things should be will take it upon him to rid us once and for all of another evil. Smoking has been shown off, alcohol might be next. I hope I'm not giving anyone ideas.