two lives

My career as a scientist started in Jena where I was a registered student majoring in biochemistry and molecular biology from 1995 to 1999. Throughout these years, the scent of faraway was tempting my nose. In 1998 I gave in, renewed my registration "in abstentia" and left Germany, never to look back. Never, that is, until last summer when the incredible atmosphere during the World Cup couldn't help but rekindle the love for my fatherland.

Today I went to Jena on a job interview at the institute where I got my first exposure as an x-ray crystallographer - luckily not literally. An up-and-coming scientist is in the process of building his own lab there and is looking for colleagues to help him turbo-boost his work. Things have come together in the six months this guy is in Jena, but the last finishing touches remain before research could start in earnest. So far, only a technician is working for him. I would literally be buying computers and installing software. Evidently, there is the opportunity to leave my mark in the lab, but the guy I interviewed with has also the ambition and ideas to be a top tier researcher.

I'm standing at a crossroads of sorts, and despite all I said, the question is not about science. It is also not really about where to go and how I see my life in the future. It's much easier than that. I kind of knew before and saw clearly today that the question is what life I want to live NOW.

Jena is small, quiet, calm, has beautiful surroundings and a social life that's a perfect supplement if you are already well taken care of. Perfect for those who want to stop running, who are settled in life, maybe married, maybe even with kids. And it offers the possibility to do great science.

On the other hand there is London. It's huge, noisy, hectic, chaotic, young and extremely expensive. London cannot be described. In a multiple choice question it is always "all of the above". You would have to lock yourself in your apartment in order to avoid a social life, and even then it might just crash through your door and take you away. Perfect for those who have not grown up yet, who are still hungry and not satisfied with life yet. And it offers the possibility to do great science.

Which life is mine? Is it really a hard decision?