rejection

Last week a rejection letter landed heavily in my inbox, but it wasn't the one I have been secretly dreading for a while. This one came in response to a job application I had prepared after finding an opening (job 2) that seemed to be made for me. I was eminently qualified – if I may say so myself – and had prepared a convincing cover letter and C.V., a variation on the theme that had landed me an interview for a similar position (job 1) a month and a half earlier.

In last week's email, the HR manager was sorry to tell me that owing to "the large quantity of applications received for the [...] position in [...], it was a difficult task to short-list candidates and, after careful consideration we have decided not to take your application any further". I was briefly shocked – I had taken an invitation to interview almost for granted, especially after my success with job 1 – but laughed it off quickly. There were only two possible explanations as far as I could tell.

Either the application process was rigged. Certain organizations sometimes find themselves under the legal obligation to publicly advertise a job and interview candidates even if the prospective new team member has already identified. This approach is designed to prevent cronyism and make the selection process fair, but all it does is force the hiring manager to precisely tailor the opening to their favorite's strengths and experiences.

Alternatively, I could have misread the description and applied for a job that I was blatantly overqualified for. I didn't consider this likely but on another reading conceded certain ambiguities in the phrasing of the ad. The level of responsability was not clearly advertised. Maybe job 2 wasn't really for me. Anyway, it didn't matter. I was out.

I am still in with job 1, though. To say that I am expecting a rejection would be unnecessarily defeatist (though I keep saying and thinking it, mostly out of a superstitious belief that good things are most likely to arrive when you least expect them). Should I be rejected, I would certainly be gravely disappointed because job 1 represents the brightest opportunity I've come across in a few years, perfect in nearly every way, to die for. But job 1 is also – and that's the crux – wickedly challenging and quite scary in the expectations I would have to live up to, and I might just be that another applicant is better qualified. Which is why I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't come through.

I was not the perfect candidate. My experience in that particular line of work is patchy and, worse of all, I didn't exactly convince myself during the interview. I spent the following day reliving the many stages of the interview and found ample room for improvement nearly everywhere. I'm afraid the selection committee were no less perceptive. But, against the odds, that rejection hasn't arrived yet.

What did arrive, this afternoon, was another email regarding job 2. There had been a mix-up. The HR manager apologized that she "did not want to send a rejection but actually tell you that you are one of the very interesting candidates." She goes on to say, strangely, that the job they have in mind doesn't come up until later, and would I mind to keep hanging around, in the form of my application, in their database?

I don't mind. It takes no effort on my part, and job 2 is a great job, in a great place, with tantalizing prospects. But I have to say this was one of the weirdest things happening to me on the job market. The only thing to top this would be an offer for job 1 in the mail tomorrow.